Preheat your oven to 350°F and line two muffin tins with cupcake liners. Grab a large bowl and whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, granulated sugar, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set this dry mixture aside while you prep your wet ingredients. Make sure your oven rack is centered so the cupcakes bake evenly.

In a separate medium bowl, whisk together the eggs, melted butter, and vegetable oil until they're well combined. Add the buttermilk and red gel food coloring, stirring until you get that beautiful red color throughout. I always do this slowly so the coloring mixes in evenly without streaks. Add your vanilla extract and stir once more.

Pour the wet ingredients into your dry mixture and stir until just combined — don't overmix or your cupcakes will be tough. The batter should look smooth and completely red with no white flour streaks. This is when I do a taste test with a tiny bit on my finger (raw eggs aside, just check the flavor). Overmixing is honestly the number one mistake people make here.

Carefully fill each cupcake liner about two-thirds full using an ice cream scoop — this keeps them even in size. I always fill every other liner first, then go back and fill the empty ones so they cook uniformly. Don't fill them all the way or the batter will overflow and make a mess on your oven floor.

Bake for 18 to 20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with just a few moist crumbs. Don't panic if they look slightly jiggly in the middle — they'll firm up as they cool. The edges should pull away from the liner slightly and spring back when you poke them gently.

Let the cupcakes cool in the pan for five minutes, then turn them out onto a wire rack to cool completely before frosting. This takes about 30 minutes total, but you can speed it up by popping them in the fridge for 10 minutes. Trying to frost warm cupcakes is a disaster — the frosting will melt and slide right off.

For the frosting, beat together the softened cream cheese and softened butter until fluffy — about two minutes of mixing. Gradually add your sifted powdered sugar, beating on low speed to avoid a powdered sugar cloud in your kitchen. Once combined, increase speed to medium and beat for another minute until it's light and creamy. Frost each cooled cupcake with a generous dollop and smooth it with an offset spatula for that elegant look.